Dear reckless driver who tried to kill us today by nearly clipping me from behind at 90 mph,
Thank God the shoulder of the highway was empty, giving you at least 2 inches of room to pass me, even if it was on two wheels, eh?
Sincerely,
I got your license plate number, bitch
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Dear pretty girl wearing a short skirt on a windy day,
Thank you.
Sincerely,
A gentleman with unexpected pep in his step
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I miss Stevie Ray Vaughan and his hat.
No, you could not.
Sincerely,
Mr. Bluejeans & a t-Shirt
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Dear University of Colorado,
You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?
Sincerely,
I’m so sick of homework
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Dear Butter,
You are so good on toast.
Sincerely,
Cinnamon Sugar
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Dear IRS tax refund,
What a pleasant surprise it was to see you this year.
Sincerely,
My wife’s finally getting new tennis shoes
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Dear Watery Allergy Eyes,
You make me look like Mr. Sadpants.
Sincerely,
Pagliacci
